Depression: “It’s Hard”
Life Is Hard: We define how we see the world around us; and, our thoughts & environment can nudge us in a direction that can justify the way we see our world.
When we say, “Life is hard,” life is hard.
When depression sets in, it’s even harder to see a way out & sometimes, it can feel impossible think or do because everything is hard.
What Makes It Hard: A diagnosis of depression makes it difficult to do daily activities, work, remain socially connected and complete basic self-care. Symptoms like fatigue, loss of interest and difficulty concentrating can impede daily functioning.
Some examples of how symptoms of depression make everything harder:
Difficulty with Daily Tasks: Getting out of bed, showering, brushing teeth, preparing meals, eating
Negative Impact on Work & School: Concentration & memory problems are exhibited in lower productivity & grades
Social Withdrawal: Isolation & difficulties maintaining relationships with family & friends.
Loss of Motivation and Interest: Hobbies, daily tasks & topics of interest are less enjoyable & harder to complete
Impairs Cognitive Abilities: Planning, decision-making and problem-solving make daily responsibilities harder
Impact on Relationships: Emotional connections with others (e.g., partner, family, friends) become strained & lead to conflicts
Convert “Hard” to a “Challenge”: When struggling with depression, forcing oneself to do things can feel overwhelming & in some cases, can shut a person down.
Convert thoughts of “this is hard” to “this is a challenge”. This is the first step in managing & improving how one thinks about tasks.
With help from family, friends and/or a healthcare professional, one needs to take a positive action by simply:
getting up & getting outside
physically moving
doing something
The smallest positive actions help to convert “hard” to a “challenge”.
Doing Is Important: No matter what your approach & how you feel, doing something is better than not doing anything.
In the simplest terms:
Set a Simple Goal
Define a Simple Routine
Do Something Simple & Meaningful Every Day
Do something that you enjoy or do something that will make someone else smile
Depending on the severity of the depression, it may seem impossible to do anything. But, doing is important.
Start by taking very small actions (e.g., a short walk or a simple chore). Then, gradually increase your activity level.
Remind yourself often that you are converting the thought of “Hard” to the thought of “Challenge”.
Be consistent, even when you think it’s not working. Consistency is the key to alleviating one’s depression.
And, remember to be kind to yourself and celebrate/acknowledge any & all accomplishments.
Tips for Doing:
1. Small Steps: Break large tasks into smaller tasks. Complete each task separately instead of trying to complete the entire task.
2. Doable Goals: Set yourself up for success, by creating small goals. This avoids setting yourself up for failure.
3. Daily Routines: Consistency in completing daily routines (e.g., out of bed, showering, eating, brushing teeth) provides structure needed to feel like life is getting more normal.
4. Something Meaningful: Even if you don’t enjoy it at first, engage in activities that can can bring you a sense of purpose or accomplishment (e.g., hobbies, volunteer, helping a friend/family member).
5. Stress-Reduction: Spend dedicated time in activities that promote relaxation & wellbeing (e.g., time in nature, music, relaxation techniques [e.g., mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing exercises])
6. Help: Depression is difficult to manage without help. Talk to a trusted friend, family member and/or healthcare professional about how you're feeling.
7. Persistence: Depression can be long & challenging. Don't Give Up. Be patient with yourself and be persistent with all your efforts. Your progress is measured by each small step that you complete.
8. Treat Yourself: Reward yourself for completing routine & daily tasks. Each step needs to be acknowledge as a step towards alleviating the depression.
9. Avoid Substance Use: Alcohol and drugs worsen depression symptoms. Reach out for professional help if you are struggling with substance use.
10. Focus on the Present: Bring your attention to what you are doing in the moment. Negative thoughts of the past & worries about the future will interfere with current activities. Pay attention to the task you are doing.
11. Regular Exercise or Play: Routine physical activities release endorphins which help to improve mood. Be consistent with a physical activity that you enjoy and gradually increase them to feel its benefit.
Psychomotor Retardation: When you feel like you can’t do a thing, you are experiencing psychomotor retardation. Psychomotor retardation is a slowing down or an inhibition of both mental and physical activity. It is frequently seen as a symptom of severe depression.
It manifests as slow speech, sluggish thinking and reduced physical movements. Essentially, the person may experience difficulty with both cognitive processing and physical tasks.
Thinking Slowly: Difficulty processing information, understanding and making decisions
Speaking Slowly: Slow, hesitant and frequent pauses
Slow Physical Movements: Slow walking, sluggish movements, slumped posture and difficulty moving one’s body
Reduction in Fine Motor Skills: Tasks like typing, writing, buttoning clothes or tying shoelaces can become challenging
Cognitive & Motor Impairments: Slowing mental and physical functioning make it difficult to think and move efficiently
Severity Marker: Psychomotor Retardation is associated with more severe depression. It includes early onset, longer duration and higher risk of suicide attempts
Seek help from a healthcare professional if you are experiencing psychomotor retardation.
It’s Hard on Others: A diagnosis of depression is hard on the individual and it is also hard on those around the individual struggling with it. The symptoms of irritability, withdrawal and changes in behavior can create stress and strain in relationships with loved ones. These symptoms often lead to arguments, disagreements, feeling of rejection or guilt.
Here's how depression can impact others:
Relationship Strain: Changes in communication, intimacy & withdrawal from social activities/events
Emotional Toll: Episodes of stress, anxiety and feelings of powerlessness when trying to support the individual
Negative Emotional Impact: Loved ones may encounter unintentionally negative emotions from the individual which makes it difficult to support that person
Increased Conflict: Arguments & disagreements may arise from symptoms of irritability and frustration
Feelings of Rejection: Feelings of rejection from the depressed person
Feelings of Guilt: Feelings of guilt for not being able to alleviate the individual’s suffering
It's important for individuals with depression to understand how their condition affects those around them and to actively work towards managing their symptoms to minimize the negative impact on relationships. Equally, it's crucial for family and friends to understand that depression is a medical condition and not a character flaw. Family, friends &/or partners should seek support for themselves. By doing so, they will better understand the illness and learn skills to help & care for the person with depression.
No Matter What: If you think you are depressed or if others are suggesting that you might be depressed, get help.
Loving family & friends and healthcare professionals can help you get on the path to better manage your symptoms and to heal.
Work with healthcare professionals to learn new skills, understand prescription medications &/or carry out behavioral management plans.
The Bottom Line is: If you are depressed, you need help and the consistent & positive actions that you take will help to alleviate your symptoms & to heal.